My New Year's theme

"A life that's mine in 2009!"

This will be my upcoming theme for the new year and I am really excited about it.

I haven't always set a New Year's theme; however, about three years ago, I took a free coaching class and learned about this method for essentially setting an upcoming goal (or set of goals) for the new year.

One thing I like about this approach to New Year's goal setting (otherwise known as New Year's resolutions), is the short, snappy, highly personal slogan that I can repeat in my mind to keep me on focus in meeting my goals over the course of the year.

I have had New Year's themes for two of the last three years. I did not set a theme for 2008 because I loved my 2007 theme so well and it was still propelling me forward. That theme was "Do it fast; don't look back," a theme designed to push me out of perfectionist tendencies that were no longer working for me as an at-home mom to three kids. (My youngest dd was two months old when I set that theme and it did serve me very well for the past two years.)

So, now ... what does my new theme mean?

What will I accomplish as I live this theme, "A life that's mine in 2009?"

A lot. And I am so ready!!!!

The last three years have been big transition years for me. I went from being a mom of one child (for eight years!) to becoming a mom of three kids, the two youngest being only 11 1/2 months apart. This adventure included two back-to-back pregnancies, two straight years of newborns, double diaper duty, a move, three water disasters in my new home, and a transition to being a mom who no longer brought in a paycheck.

I went from being a full-time working mom of one child who lived in a 1,348 square foot house (this square footage included the basement), to being a mom of three who no longer brought in a paycheck ... yet, had a bigger mortgage to pay (and all the bigger bills and additional housekeeping responsibiliies that go along with that).

Needless to say, I had to quickly learn about a new kind of patience, a new kind of chaos and a new kind of lifestyle. We literally went from eating out most nights to me cooking pretty much every night. I had to rapidly learn the art of cooking on a daily basis and how to be frugal. I had to learn how to budget and how to keep endless laundry clean and accessable. We went from going out of our home on a regular basis for our entertainment (it was only the three of us and we had two incomes), to pretty much staying at home for all of our entertainment on a regular basis.

It has been a wild ride. Wild. Crazy. And it has been the best thing that ever happened to me.

But, during these years of transition, I admit that I have lost myself in so many ways. With two children who are only now ages 2 and 3, and an 11-year-old who is beginning to show some of that pre-teen attitude ... and a husband who works long hours and has his own need to have some time and space for himself, I have put myself on the back-burner.

In doing that, I don't think I am the best me that I can be as a mother and wife to my family. And, family, is honestly, the most important thing in life to me. My family is everything to me ... from my childhood family, to my current immediate family, to my extended family, to my friends who have grown to be like family to me over the years. There is nothing more important, or more wonderful to me, than enjoying, spending time with and being with the members of my family.

So, this is the year for me.

In the spirit of still putting my family first, this will be the year for my theme --
"A life that's mine in 2009!"

What this means is that I will be making decisions a bit differently when I think of the things I want to do, or be a part of (for myself), in 2009. I will not feel badly or let guilt keep me from taking care of myself. I will push past that negative mental junk and boldly arrange for time and/or activities for myself that nurture me so that I can enjoy life more and be the best mother and wife possible to my wonderful crazy family.

Basically, I am going to begin caring for myself the way that I care for the entire rest of my family. I am giving myself a "promotion" in a sense ... from caretaker to Home CEO. My needs and desires are going to matter and going to be on the front burner (not to the exclusion of everyone else, but considered as importantly as the needs and desires of everyone else.) And I am so excited about this because I think I lost my way and doubted my importance for awhile in the transition of essentially losing one identity and way of life, to gaining a new identity and way of life (a life that is actually so much fuller and more wonderful than I could have ever imagined back in the days when I didn't do any laundry until we ran out of undies.)

It may not be that I even do a whole lot more (as far as regular or scheduled activities), or get involved in a whole lot more outside of the home in the next year. I mean, possibly that will happen; but, possibly not ... because I don't know what this "life of mine" that I want to create for myself looks like just yet. Things that excited me and nurtured me in the past, don't do a thing for me in this new life of mine as a crazy, at-home mom of three.

I mean, I am still the same person I always was inside in so many of the most important ways; but, I am also very different than I was before. My life is different. My needs are different. My challenges are different. I have actually grown a lot in many ways; but, I am also more of a novice than ever before in so many other ways.

A lot of living this new theme for me will most likely be about creating and mastering a mental and emotional "shift" inside that will essentially just elevate my importance as a full-fledged family member with needs, desires and values that deserve as much respect as any other member of the family.

"A life that's mine in 2009" will also likely involve my considering some new ventures and new possibilities ... such as taking a class or creating something of interest to myself that is mine alone to enjoy and gain energy from.

One very important aspect that this theme encompasses is, indeed, the life that's "mine" part. I love to do things my way, whether that be by my researching and choosing the best method to use (for myself) from already established choices or programs out in the world (for, like say, weight loss ... an established program might be Weight Watchers). Or, creating my own way to do things ... highly personalized avenues just for me and created by me. I love designing my own way to do things. I know that will be a very important piece to keep in mind in the new year.

I look forward to this shift and this focus. I feel a sense of some fun coming, (just a tiny amount of fun even), in 2009.

That is an energizing feeling :)

Christmas came and went

Christmas came and went so fast that I can hardly think to post about it now. It was truly one of the most wonderful and stress-free Christmases that we have had in years. I think this has to do with dh being off for two weeks, including several days before Christmas and dh helping to wrap more and dh taking on the cooking from the time he has been off. Wow!!! I tell ya, I am already spoiled!

Anyway, on Christmas evening, my youngest dd began a fever and threw up on me. Today was day 5 of this illness that has just been miserable for her (and me too!). She barely slept and wanted to be held pretty much most of the time these last days. Today she is on the mend. I took her to the doctor and her antibiotic already seems to be taking effect.

The only downside is that my older dd began a fever just this evening :0 !

Anyway, above is a photo of my youngest during her sick time slumber. She has several "babies" that she must carry at various times all over the house. As you can see, she is a great little momma to her "babies" even when she is sick .... poor dear!!!

Christmas Eve

We had a nice Christmas Eve with dh's family. And now, Santa has already been to our house and I am just taking a few minutes before I go to bed myself. I wonder what time the kids will get up in the morning? I am going to guess 9:30 a.m. (We don't tend to be early morning risers; I am hoping Christmas won't change that.)

Above is a photo of the grandkids on dh's side of the family. We took several photos, but this was the best one of the bunch. My youngest dd (ds is holding her on the far right/front row) was the most difficult to photograph. She insisted on eating her hand through all of the photographs and then decided to try and escape. Oh well! Dd#1 is sitting right next to my youngest dd and ds.

Done, Done, Done ... Yippee!!!

Dh and I stayed up wrapping the rest of the gifts together tonight and now have everything ready to go for the next two days!!! Yippee!!!

It wasn't so bad at all getting those things done on my list with dh home today. I am really liking his being home. I can't wait to enjoy a normal day with him home though (without the need to do all of these Christmas-related errands). I would love a day where I could just go out for fun or where we could go out together alone. But that will need to wait until after Christmas.

So, other than food prep for the next two days, all is calm and bright once again :)

Healthy changes update: A healthier way of living stays on my mind. I am paying more attention to my hunger levels. I was too busy to overeat today, which is awesome. I also got a lot of exercise today climbing around in my car, walking on ice, wrapping, and all sorts of things like that.

Ready for it to be over

I know it is only a few days away, and I enjoy Christmas ... I really, really do.

But I am ready for it to be over.

Even when it is all planned out and the things I need to do are spread out in a more timely manner, I find myself feeling stressed about this time every year.

One thing that is hard is going to dh's family Christmas on Christmas Eve. Then, the next morning, we do our own Christmas (on Christmas Day). It is too bad we can't spread these two events out a bit more. I think it would be cool to have a day between these two celebrations to sort of enjoy them both more. But, I don't think dh's family would like moving their holiday up several days; and I am not interested in sitting Christmas Day out just to wait until the day after.

So, crunch time begins for us the day before Christmas Eve. That is tomorrow (well, technically today, but I can't sleep).

Here is what I need to accomplish today --

1.) Pick up a fruit tray and make sure we have all items needed to make bread for Christmas Eve dinner.

2.) Wrap a few more gifts at home.

3.) Get to my mom's house and get organized; then, wrap like a maniac ... bag everything up ... and get the bags ready to pick up on Christmas Eve.

4.) Do essential laundry and plan clothing for Christmas Eve.

5.) Stop by library to return overdue books.

6.) Pray we have not overspent this year .... I have lost track just a bit since dh is spending separately to keep my gifts a surprise. I feel pretty certain we are on track, but I will feel better when I know for certain.

7.) Dishes, dishes, dishes ... there always dishes to do and messes to clean-up along the way ....

8.) Prepare and mail two last Christmas cards.

9.) Fill out some paperwork I need to fill out and get it in the mail.

10.) Clean the bathrooms.

That doesn't seem so bad, does it? Hmmm.

Yep, it does! I am still ready for it to be over.

Healthy Changes Update

I have been logging my food for two days and paying better attention to whether or not I am hungry before I eat.

I have been putting my snacks on plates versus eating them from the bags or containers.

I did a 20-minute video workout today.

I have signifantly decreased my milk consumption, which will both help with the budget and help with my waistline.

Pay Cut :(

Well, I guess it was good we were being proactive. It was announced today at dh's job that there would be a 5 percent pay cut for every employee until the end of March, when things would be looked at again (for better or for worse).

Five percent is a blessing in this economy, I know. I told dh we need to look at it this way.

He said "but this is only the beginning." So, he is likely right. Is this just step #1 to total unemployment? I guess nobody really knows for sure. From what I have read and hear on the news, things are looking more like the Great Depression than ever in history since that time. Surely we won't get to that point again. Will we?

I would really like to go on some anxiety medication right now, but I refuse to pay for anything extra. I guess I will exercise more, pray a lot for everyone in hard times and call the cable company again .. and the cell phone company again. Today.

And if dh is on board with it, I will apply for some weekend work in various places. I honestly wouldn't mind some weekend work. If dh isn't working overtime, there will be plenty of family time and I do get tons of time with my kids already.

Healthy Changes Yesterday

It was a good day for healthy changes.

I exercised. I drank more water than the day before. I ate more consciously. I ate out; however, I did cut my lunch in half and brought home half to eat today.

I figured out how to link two of my health goals to money-saving goals, which really inspired me. I am creating my own, personal, customized Money Diet For Health. I will post it here as I develop it :) I was so excited when I thought of doing this. I really do love to be creative in these types of ways.

How I made $881.25 in three days

When dh emailed me from work about the urgency of cutting back our budget, I looked things over once again and managed to free up $881.25 in my work on this over the last three days.

Here is where the money came from:

1.) When I called to check on the options with our cable bill and asked tons of questions to the customer service rep about our options, I was offered a $17 per month discount to keep all the same services. That was easy. This is an annual savings of $204. (They guaranteed this rate for a year.)

2.) I figured out that since we will keep cable for the time being, I can commit to using the Exercise TV channel and drop my health club fee of $25 per month (no contract). This is an annual savings of $300. Whoo hoo!!

3.) I figured out that we could save $125 over the next year by putting $500 of pre tax income from dh's paycheck into a medical flexible spending account. That $125 is the tax savings and I especially love to save when it comes to taxes. This is an annual savings of $125.

4.) I figured out that if we partially prepaid our next installment of property taxes before the year ends, we will see the tax deduction benefits in just 30-45 days (when we do our taxes and get to deduct these expenses.) This adds $237.25 in tax deductions that we would not have had until 2010 had I not figured this out. This is an annual savings of $237.25.

5.) I figured out if I transfer an Rx to Walgreen's this week, I will make $15 from the $25 gift cards they are giving out for transferred prescriptions. This generic med only costs me $10. Total savings here is $15.

I love this kind of creativity. These are honestly my favorite ways to save money.

I wonder if I can find even more ways to save?

I have honestly been chiseling away at our budget now for 15 months. I am amazed that I can still find things to cut at this point that aren't even painful at all.

Healthy Changes Update

I made some improvements today.

I ate a healthy breakfast.

I did an at-home exercise workout.

I drank some water.

Tomorrow I want to do these things again and drink more water.

I also want to change my unhealthy snacking to more balanced snacking.

I will update again tomorrow.

Oh, I also want to eat at least one salad this week.

Feeling Sick

I feel sick to my stomach today. Dh found out that the auto company responsible for his paycheck is cutting production of vehicles again, beginning in January. That plant will close every Monday and Friday in January. Dh's company will likely follow suit.

People can't buy cars in an economy like this. So many people are just struggling to get food on the table each night. Even though the government has provided bailout money, financial companies aren't lending money right now either.

Retirement accounts are dwindling. Dh wants me to look at the budget and see what else we can cut. He thinks we should "act as if" he is being laid off. I think he is right, but I have already been through the budget so much and so often. There isn't a whole lot more to cut that won't be extremely painful. We could cut my cell phone I guess. We could also cut out cable, telephone and Internet. But do we need to go to that extreme?

I just wish I had a crystal ball. I am scared and sick. I know that the reason for Christmas is so much bigger than gifts and presents, but it is just an ugly time of year for this to be happening. I fear another Great Depression.

I honestly wish I knew what was going on for sure. I should get a job. Truth is, I probably need one anyway. My kids, whom I do adore, make me crazy. I think I need an outside life from my kids. It all feels so complicated.

Today I am just sad. It doesn't help that ds is giving me a hard time too. I received another call from the school this week about him and let's just say, he is grounded until Christmas. This just feels like a big drag on the whole family to me. I just want happiness and cheer and love and goodwill. I don't want to have a grounded kid through Christmas :(

Healthy changes update

No healthy changes have been made as of yet. In fact, I slept through working out because the girls slept in and I took a nap after getting ds off to school.

Sounds promising, huh?

Apparently I am not committed to this in any way.

Healthy Changes

I need to get back to healthier eating and a healthier way of life. I like to walk and I like to work out at the gym using the weight machines. But, I allow the difficulties in hauling the girls to keep me from going to the gym. I allow other hurdles to keep me from walking.

So, I am going to commit here to some healthy changes for the rest of December.

1.) Work out twice per week
2.) Allow myself to get hungry before eating
3.) Only drink small amounts of milk between meals, or choose another drink

That should be a good jump start. I am going to report here daily on my progress. It is my hope to exceed these goals.

Peace during the holidays

This might be the first year that I am truly peaceful about the upcoming holidays. I might be stressed about other things, but I am not stressed at all about Christmas or New Year's.

I think I can attribute this to two main things:

1.) Planning ahead, and in writing
2.) Creating a detailed holiday budget and sticking with it.

This has actually made December a very peaceful month. Since my shopping is done, I don't go out and look for deals anymore. I don't follow up on all the internet promotions that come my way. There is little left to buy because I am all but done.

I usually loathe wrapping too. But this will be the third year that I have started wrapping earlier and over multiple days (thanks to Flylady) .... to make it less painful. I just find wrapping to be meticulous and stressful. I find it more enjoyable though to wrap a few things here and then a few things there.

This year I might be pacing myself the best I ever have as far as wrapping goes. In the past, I usually still have saved quite a bit to wrap for the last minute. That is just so hard to do now with three kids though, especially with one child who won't stay in her bed!

So, in many ways, this planning is driven by necessity. But it brings more peace than I have ever felt during this time of year.

And as for our Christmas budget? It is right on track ... and even a little under!!!

Going Stir Crazy

I feel I am just going stir crazy. I want to get out of the house, but there is nowhere that I need to go. If I go just to get out, then I spend money. Ugh!

My dear little ones are making me crazy. They are really just being kids and I do love this age. I really do!!! They are cute and precious and they say the funniest things. I am awed by the things they already know and also by the things that they seem to be so motivated to learn (such as how to get into the bathroom so that they can play in the sink!!)

But, I get so tired of picking up foods from various places, serving foods, cleaning up the floors, cleaning the table, hunting for lost clothing, doing the dishes (over and over and over again), doing the laundry, etc. That stuff is soooooooooo boring that I could just scream sometimes!!!!

I am home with my kids, but I am so mentally stifled sometimes that it makes me crazy. I don't even know if I am a good mom or not. I sometimes think I am and then I sometimes think that somehow I am a total bomb at being a parent.

Ds's teacher called me today too. How fun is that? Ds is at it again apparently -- not bringing home some of his homework, completing some homework but not turning it in (this probably makes me the most insane of all), and not completing an assignment the teacher gave him an extension of time to complete. I had no idea any of this was going on. I AM glad to have found out. But now I get to deal with it. I think he is going to be one unhappy child when he gets home from school today!!!!! Argh!!!!

So, parenting is hard. It is tough. It is even so boring sometimes that I can cry. There are such sweet little blessings mixed within my days. But I still find myself feeling nutsy crazy when I see a banana sitting on the space heater and my two-year-old continuously calls out repeated false alarms of "Pee Pee's coming!!!!" which require a trip by both she and myself up the stairs to the bathroom, then back again. Over and over and over again. Until I figure out that she just wants to wear me down so that I will let her wash her hands and finally end up playing in the sink =0

Did I mention that I was a crazed mom of three kids? Oh yeah, it is in my blog title. Ugh!!!!

Fun in the Snow

Responsible Gift Buying

Almost every day of the year, I buy only the items we really need and really can use. I have trained myself to be a person who does not buy on impulse.

However, about this time of year, every year, when I have already begun the gift-buying process, I get bitten by the shopping bug.

You know that "illness" where you see something for a great deal that someone would like or that would be the perfect gift for someone possibly many months from now? You know that feeling like "it is such a good deal; I have to have this ... and now!"

Well, this year, I am going to resist that urge to overbuy. Typically, in the past, this is when the good old Mastercard would just fly out of my wallet and ring us up a big old debt to begin paying in January.

But, I stopped myself mid-buy yesterday. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Less is more. Less is more. Less is more.

It has been a long road to get out of debt and there are many hills still to climb to get into a strong financial place.

The economy is in the toilet and we are a single-income family with employment related to the success of the auto industry.

Black Friday is a hard time of year. The credit card bug tries to rear its ugly head.

Just say no. Just say no. Just say no.

I am saying NO to debt after Christmas this year .... for the first time ever since the credit card issuers put my name on a card and gave me free reign.

It is hard.

I am doing it for my kids. I am doing it because it is the right way to do things. I am doing it because it is the responsible way to live.

My future job

Today I had the opportunity to go on a field trip with ds's class. They went to J.A. Biztown, a mock community where the kids held jobs and simulated a real-life economy. Ds worked as a Lab Technician and I helped out at the bank. This trip was just such a special experience for the kids. But, it caused me to think a lot too.

I miss many things about working out in the professional world. I would never give up this opportunity to be home with my children full time right now while two of them are so young. But, I look forward to returning someday to that world.

Here are some things important to me in a future job. I am writing this here in hopes of remembering this someday --

1.) The multi-tasking in a professional environment. For some reason, multi-tasking with my kitchen clean-up and laundry just does not offer the same thrill. I remember the adrenaline rush of working on a deadline, with a team, to bring a project to a successful conclusion. When I return to work someday, I want to remember that I want a busy, active, team environment to work within.

2.) The variety. I need a job where everday is somewhat different than the next, with projects that vary and I want to work in an environment with high standards and respectable leadership.

3.) Autonomy. It is very important to me to work autonomously. If I am micromanaged, I become stifled and very unhappy. This is essential to me in an enjoyable job.

4.) Decent pay. I want to be paid at a rate that makes working worthwhile.

5.) Flexibility. Ideally, I would love to work part-time with a flexible work schedule. But, I no longer want to work from home now that I have three kids.

6.) An office to go to where I can work with people, yet without distraction.

7.) Paid time off ... need I say more ... lol!

8.) A flexible lunch hour and great co-workers to eat with!

9.) Great, caring, interesting and supportive co-workers.

10.) A job where continued learning is important.

11.) When I get bored, I want to find a new job and not just stay somewhere because I have been there so long or because I feel that I can't get a better job somewhere else. I want to grow and learn and then move on and grow and learn some more.

12.) Great retirement benefits as well as other benefits.

13.) And while I am at it, I would like a very large bonus each year =)

There it is. The perfect job. For someday.

Dollar Store Diva

The Dollar Store is my new, favorite shopping hangout.

It is the perfect store for an at-home mom who is watching the cash closely, but still wants to browse ... because if I find something I just can't put down, it isn't damaging to the budget.

I admit it though. I went nuts there this weekend.

I spent ........ a grand $8!

The girls had a blast there too checking out all the little Christmas goodies and cheap, colorful toys.

Here is what we bought for $8 and some change --

1 bottle of hand lotion (12 oz)
1 window scraper (with an attached glove) for my van
1 box of miniature candy canes
1 box of chocolate mints
1 package of three bouncy balls (for the girls)
1 package of individually-wrapped peppermints
1 eight-pack of Twix bars
1 package of 220 bendable straws

What a great lot of loot for $8 plus tax, huh?

Way cool!

I am not going to grieve any inability on my part to just shop for fun anymore. I am just going to become a Dollar Store Diva!

Restaurant Therapy

I have been thinking ... could eating out be like therapy?

After eating out twice on Saturday, and then with dh cooking dinner on Sunday, I almost feel like a new person.

Counting every penny for the last few months has just been so darn painful that I think I have felt a bit deprived ... not to mention exhausted of cooking.

I guess I should be thankful that eating out is probably my favorite frivolous pleasure. I could have more expensive vices, I suppose.

But, with eating out, I also think I appreciate it, and enjoy it more, when I don't do it all the time. Less can truly be more in that regard.

Good things happening

There are a lot of positive things going on right now --

I am getting a lot done around the house since I am no longer fixated on the election news.

The girls have begun to play more cooperatively, giving me longer periods of time between fights and spats.

Since beginning the 1-2-3 magic discipline program (that I used to use with ds many years ago), the girls have improved remarkably in their behavior.

I was able to take the girls on a very sane and enjoyable shopping trip to two stores this weekend.

We have enough money to pay our first installment of property taxes and are now just waiting for the bill to come (hoping we have the amount right.)

I have set a plan for Christmas and actually have completed a great deal of my shopping already!

I am nearly caught up on my laundry and I have almost completed the boxing up of the Summer clothes (finishing some additional Summer laundry).

I have lost five pounds.

I think Barack Obama might appoint Hillary Clinton to an important job in his administration and maybe John McCain too. If he does, I will have to hand it to Obama. I think his doing this would be very positive for the country. I am still holding out hope for Sarah Palin to be offered something, but it looks like she is in line for some positive things for her career regardless.

I am glad to have survived a difficult situation with some friends and even though I miss some friends too, I am in a decent place with it all. Change is one of the few things certain about life and so we move on; when some doors close, others open ... it is called life.

Five Wonderful Things

1.) I am beginning to feel so much better since I have been getting more sleep in the last week.

2.) Volunteering at my ds's school today was really fun and I look forward to doing it again soon. I am so grateful for this wonderful school!

3.) Mrs. Smith's cherry, apple and pumpkin pies ... on sale this week at Kroger ... and a household favorite! Super yum!!!

4.) Family, family, family .... what I cherish most and put first in my life everyday.

5.) Dh's job -- thank God my dh still has a job in this terrible economy; I am so grateful everyday and I pray for a fast turnaround for our economy as whole.

Eight Random Facts/Quirks/Habits

Well, I needed something to blog about and my friend Anita tagged me, and now I have something to write about!

Rules:
1. People who are tagged need to post these rules, and 8 random habits/facts/quirks about themselves.

2. At the end of the post you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.

Eight random habits/facts/quirks --

1. I am married to my high school sweetheart.

2. I check my alarm clock at least three times every night before going to bed.

3. I don't hand wash dishes; if they need don't fit in the dishwasher, they wait for the next cycle!

4. I hate to cook.

5. My job title was Vice President at my last place of employment.

6. For the most part, I don't care to travel.

7. I used to be a personal coach but now I think my life is too crazy to help others in that same way!

8. I am very sensitive, even though I don't show it outwardly.

Tagging (I don't think I know 8 people who read my blog, but here goes anyway):

Amy C.
Bridgett
Beth, except I am sure you were already tagged
Lee Ann
Jennifer
Janet
Valerie
Nicki

Redefining my blog

I have decided to erase my blog and begin anew, perhaps with a new direction or topic. Or, perhaps with just some different types of posts.

Or, who knows. I am not sure exactly.

I enjoy blogging and it is just time to unclog the blog.