Thursday, April 28, 2011

Advice and Criticism

This post comes from thoughts about a battle I recently had with an extended family member ...

I have been thinking lately about advice and criticism. For the most part, I want feedback from people. It is great to get different ideas and then make one's own decision. But, on some occasions, advice and criticism hits me less positively. So, I began to wonder ...

When we react most strongly to certain advice, is that a message in itself? Does it mean maybe the advice rings true? I had to think about that.

I have decided that strong feelings about advice or criticism can mean a number of things. It might mean we don't like something pointed out to us because it is unpleasant. It could mean we are hearing something powerful that we need to take action on. It could mean that the person giving this advice or criticism is being rude in the way they are giving it.

It could also mean that the person is just being a pain in the rear because they feel insistant that their advice is what it right for us when it isn't. Or, it could mean that we have certain needs that the advice is butting up against ... such as the need to be right, the need to be regarded well, etc.

I don't think strong reactions necessarily mean that the advice or criticism being dished out is true. But, I always do think that a strong reaction is worth exploring from a personal standpoint myself.

I think the most important thing about offering advice or constructive criticism is to remain respectful of the person you are bestowing this advice on. They are really the expert in their own lives.

So, what do you think about advice or criticism? Do you like to get the opinions of others? Do you find unsolicited advice offensive, or do you see it as an opportunity?