The last 11 days have been tough. For about 8 of these days, one girl or another was sick with a nasty, fever-type cold. I can count on one hand the number of times I left my house in the last 11 days ... and there is still room to count on just the one hand!
Illness brings extra whining, extra clinging, extra nose wipes, medicine battles "But I don't LIKE the medicine!!!" And then, after so many days, there was extra sibling rivalry too. All the extra bickering and kicking and fighting and grabbing things from each other was truly conspiring to torture this at-home mom who really is probably better suited to a more sane job outside the home where I could get a decent, quiet lunch hour; some true respect; and a paycheck to top it off!
My husband's work hours are insane. It is so funny to me when people think that dh's coming home at night could offer me any kind of break. All I can say to that is: ROFLMAO!!!
Now, I am not complaining. Really. I know I am blessed. I have choices. I am blessed to have choices. But, I feel the need to unravel some of my thoughts that flew crazy through my mind over the last days.
Here are some of my latest ephiphanies:
#1 -- Dh's job is going to get better (as to the amount of time that he spends there.) New management there sounds like they are better dividing the work. New management there seem to be sane, decent people. It is just that dh worked for a bozo for a year who stalled all work in the department. Sooooo, there is some catch up. A lot of catch up. They will get through it and it is going to be good.
#2 -- Even when my brain is fried and I sit here some days with my eyes crossed while chanting coping phrases inside my head just to keep me centered, I KNOW that I am THE best person to watch my kids all day, every day. There is simply nobody better for this job and I want the best for my kids. Sooooo, I am not really that bad of a mom ... even though there are days when I wonder if there is space at the mental ward for a mother who sometimes feel like she is heading over the edge. I choose ME for my kids each day. That is big. I am good to my kids even when they walk with spikes all over my nerves most days :)
#3 -- Housework just bores the crap out of me ... and that is o.k. It isn't that bad in here really. There are more important things in life than a perfectly-ordered, clean house. I am not giving up on housework or anything. I do feel that it is my job as the stay-at-home parent to keep the house in working order. And I take my role here seriously; I do. But, it is just not ever going to be exciting to me ... or pleasant for me .... or even routine for me to get this stuff done. I have tried and tried to find various ways to love housework .... and it is just NEVER going to be my thing.
#4 -- I am not one of those people who has the "need" to care take. There are people like that in the world and I think they are amazing and awesome. Maybe I am just full of care taking duties in my life right now. But, I am perfectly happy to keep strong boundaries in place when it comes to any additional caretaking demands. NO animals here. NO extra kids here thanks.
The answer is NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
If someone with kids wants to sit here awhile and pull up a chair and chat while all of our kids play ... groovy cool. I welcome that and I want us to be friends. But, NO ... you cannot just drop your young kids off here. What are ya? Nuts?!!!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Family
Family is such a wonderful thing in so many ways. You have a special bond and you can support each other; be there for each other; cousins can grow up together; and other good things.
But, family also brings their baggage to family events and can also be a negative, unpleasant thing when some family members simply refuse to focus on loving and supporting each other.
Actually, my side of the family is pretty cool. (Yes, I am biased!) I have worked hard to cultivate a relationship with dh's family though. Frankly, they are difficult people to like. They are full of opinions, and judgements, and they believe they "know" everything. Never mind what your doctor says for instance. If SIL thinks your kids need a tonsillectomy, then they must! Never mind that SIL tried again and again and never made it into medical school.
Anyway, I just felt like expressing some tiring feelings I am having about certain family members right now. Ultimately, I am glad to have them, imperfections and all. But, some days ... sighhhhhhhh ....
But, family also brings their baggage to family events and can also be a negative, unpleasant thing when some family members simply refuse to focus on loving and supporting each other.
Actually, my side of the family is pretty cool. (Yes, I am biased!) I have worked hard to cultivate a relationship with dh's family though. Frankly, they are difficult people to like. They are full of opinions, and judgements, and they believe they "know" everything. Never mind what your doctor says for instance. If SIL thinks your kids need a tonsillectomy, then they must! Never mind that SIL tried again and again and never made it into medical school.
Anyway, I just felt like expressing some tiring feelings I am having about certain family members right now. Ultimately, I am glad to have them, imperfections and all. But, some days ... sighhhhhhhh ....
Friday, April 2, 2010
Goals Update
It's time to review and/or tweak by New Year's goals. Here is how it has been going --
1.) Master my Laundry -- as the Flylady recently said, "A load per day keeps CHAOS away." She is right. I will do ONE load per day and I will not strive for more than that unless I am just in the mood.
This is a good goal to strive for; however, I find that I abandon it more often than not. I tend to do housework in various bursts of energy that are less routine. I am realizing this is just who I am. However, having this goal keeps me from completely abandoning my laundry altogether, so it's a good one :)
2.) Add daily laundry and trash pickups covering the entire house to my daily routine.
Again, it's the "daily" thing here that I don't do. But when the need to get the house in order becomes pressing to me, this is where I begin. And, if I only want to make huge progress in a short time, this is what I do.
3.) Declutter regularly using Flylady Hot Spot emails as a reminder.
Decluttering is energizing. I have done very well with it this year. At this time, I have decluttered all I want to and I feel that I am as decluttered as I want to be right now ... aside from the girls Summer clothing that doesn't fit ... which is not a big job. Shorts take up such a small amount of space but I have only just recently pulled them out of storage :)
4.) Add a Swish and Swipe routine for the bathrooms.
The routine is: Swish and Swipe AS NEEDED :)
5.) Buy meat on sale but that is already packaged for the freezer. Basically, this means I will spend just a bit more on meat by not buying it in bulk and then packaging it for freezing myself, but I will save a lot on my sanity. By doing this, I feel that I will be able to devote more of myself to actual food preparation (ideally creating better meals that my family will enjoy much more.)
I have been doing this, which has been nice for my time and sanity. I cannot say it has helped my cooking; although, my family does eat homecooked meals most nights ... so I guess I do o.k.
6.) Add some exercise to my daily routine -- 15 minute increments.
I have really taken off with this goal and I have lost ten pounds since January as a result. When I made this goal in January, I did not know I would be so into this. Exercise has been great for me and I want to continue it regularly.
7.) Eat breakfast more often.
I have definitely eaten breakfast more often this year and this always helps me eat better the entire day. However, this is something I have to remind myself to do because I am not satisfied with just any breakfast and I will try to skip breakfast if I don't feel like making something that I know will truly satisfy me. I would, ideally, like to eat at least one egg most days. But, I don't always want to make an egg ... lazy me!
8.) Keep Ellie home from preschool if I don't like the weather.
I have done this and have found it to be very freeing and satisfying. I have two girls close in age and I don't feel like going somewhere every morning of the week. So, sometimes, we don't :)
9.) Explore options for activities for the girls that benefit all THREE of us!
We enrolled the girls in two sessions of a dance class, which they really enjoy and I do too. For me, I especially like how the class is short, developmentally appropriate and very close to our home. And most importantly, this is something they want to do (and not something I dragged them into.)
10.) Save enough money to cash flow a new roof this year.
A plan is in place; however, not one penny has been saved yet.
11.) Continue with our budget and minimizing expenses.
This is ongoing but something I never want to lose sight of.
12.) Recreate my bedroom to a room I like a lot more.
I bought a new pillow, cleared out some clutter and am working on getting some sheets that fit the bed better (waiting for a sale at a particular store because I won't pay full price for sheets!) I would like to do more, but this is what is in the budget right now.
13.) Have people over to visit approximately every other month (during the last two weeks of the month.)
I did this two days ago for the first time and had a great time :)
14.) Embrace that I like to change things around in my life frequently and do it as much as I want to! This is my gift to myself as I turn 40 this year!
Reading the Happiness book has brought me great peace as far as this goal is concerned. The author of that book is very inspiring to me when it comes to validating the idea that we can be who we are and that is O.K. At my current age, I had already figured that out and have embraced it personally for many years; however, it is very nice to have a book out there in the world affirming that it IS, indeed, O.K. to just be me.
1.) Master my Laundry -- as the Flylady recently said, "A load per day keeps CHAOS away." She is right. I will do ONE load per day and I will not strive for more than that unless I am just in the mood.
This is a good goal to strive for; however, I find that I abandon it more often than not. I tend to do housework in various bursts of energy that are less routine. I am realizing this is just who I am. However, having this goal keeps me from completely abandoning my laundry altogether, so it's a good one :)
2.) Add daily laundry and trash pickups covering the entire house to my daily routine.
Again, it's the "daily" thing here that I don't do. But when the need to get the house in order becomes pressing to me, this is where I begin. And, if I only want to make huge progress in a short time, this is what I do.
3.) Declutter regularly using Flylady Hot Spot emails as a reminder.
Decluttering is energizing. I have done very well with it this year. At this time, I have decluttered all I want to and I feel that I am as decluttered as I want to be right now ... aside from the girls Summer clothing that doesn't fit ... which is not a big job. Shorts take up such a small amount of space but I have only just recently pulled them out of storage :)
4.) Add a Swish and Swipe routine for the bathrooms.
The routine is: Swish and Swipe AS NEEDED :)
5.) Buy meat on sale but that is already packaged for the freezer. Basically, this means I will spend just a bit more on meat by not buying it in bulk and then packaging it for freezing myself, but I will save a lot on my sanity. By doing this, I feel that I will be able to devote more of myself to actual food preparation (ideally creating better meals that my family will enjoy much more.)
I have been doing this, which has been nice for my time and sanity. I cannot say it has helped my cooking; although, my family does eat homecooked meals most nights ... so I guess I do o.k.
6.) Add some exercise to my daily routine -- 15 minute increments.
I have really taken off with this goal and I have lost ten pounds since January as a result. When I made this goal in January, I did not know I would be so into this. Exercise has been great for me and I want to continue it regularly.
7.) Eat breakfast more often.
I have definitely eaten breakfast more often this year and this always helps me eat better the entire day. However, this is something I have to remind myself to do because I am not satisfied with just any breakfast and I will try to skip breakfast if I don't feel like making something that I know will truly satisfy me. I would, ideally, like to eat at least one egg most days. But, I don't always want to make an egg ... lazy me!
8.) Keep Ellie home from preschool if I don't like the weather.
I have done this and have found it to be very freeing and satisfying. I have two girls close in age and I don't feel like going somewhere every morning of the week. So, sometimes, we don't :)
9.) Explore options for activities for the girls that benefit all THREE of us!
We enrolled the girls in two sessions of a dance class, which they really enjoy and I do too. For me, I especially like how the class is short, developmentally appropriate and very close to our home. And most importantly, this is something they want to do (and not something I dragged them into.)
10.) Save enough money to cash flow a new roof this year.
A plan is in place; however, not one penny has been saved yet.
11.) Continue with our budget and minimizing expenses.
This is ongoing but something I never want to lose sight of.
12.) Recreate my bedroom to a room I like a lot more.
I bought a new pillow, cleared out some clutter and am working on getting some sheets that fit the bed better (waiting for a sale at a particular store because I won't pay full price for sheets!) I would like to do more, but this is what is in the budget right now.
13.) Have people over to visit approximately every other month (during the last two weeks of the month.)
I did this two days ago for the first time and had a great time :)
14.) Embrace that I like to change things around in my life frequently and do it as much as I want to! This is my gift to myself as I turn 40 this year!
Reading the Happiness book has brought me great peace as far as this goal is concerned. The author of that book is very inspiring to me when it comes to validating the idea that we can be who we are and that is O.K. At my current age, I had already figured that out and have embraced it personally for many years; however, it is very nice to have a book out there in the world affirming that it IS, indeed, O.K. to just be me.
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