Tuesday Morning Thoughts ...

I have a secret. I love Tuesday mornings! Why? Because I only have to get two of my three kids off to school on Tuesday mornings. One less kid in the morning rush makes a huge difference in the morning!

So, here's how it goes: On Tuesdays, I just get the other two up and going and then all I have to do is carry my youngest, sleeping, out to the car. She is along, sleeping, for the morning drop off ride and then I carry her back into the house and she sleeps the ENTIRE rest of the morning until it is time to pick up my Kindergartner (before lunch). How cool is that?? She is happy. I am happy. So, this is my Tuesday morning "me" time. I am a lucky mom!

My other thoughts this morning are related to just marveling over a sense of peace I have had recently about a lot of things that used to get me riled up. Just two days ago, I hosted the family Thanksgiving at my house (for 33 people). I am not sure what inspired me to "volunteer" my house for the holiday this year. But honestly, the main reason I volunteered is that I prefer to be at my own house. At my house, I get to set the rules, the activities, the time we eat, where we will eat, what we will eat, the house temperature, who can come and how long the party goes on. And I can just wear my shorts all day! No need to pack things up in the car and haul the family somewhere else. No need to mess with coats, shoes, extra clothing, etc. Plus, I just like being in my own space. I actually get a trapped feeling sometimes at other family members' homes on the holidays. I just want to do my own thing! So, it was great!

The holiday was a "pitch-in," so other than the turkey, we did no cooking. But there was still much expense and preparation involved. When you add up the price of two turkeys, paper products, condiments and 2-liter drinks, it wasn't cheap. But the hardest work for this event was not related to food or cooking. It was the cleaning!!

I started about a week or so before the big day and I cleaned, decluttered, organized, rearranged things ... and I basically just got a whole lot done that wasn't getting done in my house before I took this on. I worked until the first person arrived (six minutes early by the way ... ugh!) And I didn't get everything done that I had wanted to get done. But I knew that it would turn out alright no matter how much I got done. Somehow, things ALWAYS have a way of pulling together nicely just when the event is ready to begin. And this was the thought that kept me at peace through the entire event. It always works out. And it did this time too. Just getting my house in this kind of shape was worth welcoming 33 people in for dinner. I have no regrets!

And the other best part of this holiday hosting for our family --- WE ARE DONE! No more Thanksgiving cooking or preparation going on here anymore. The four days off for Thanksgiving are now wide open and we get to do whatever we want to! We are going to a movie on Thanksgiving and we might even eat out at a chinese buffet. Life is good and I am REALLY looking forward to the upcoming time off with just my own immediate family :-) So, whew ... we survived another holiday ... and the best part is still ahead for us! Happy Thankgiving :-)

Returning to the career world ...

I am not returning to the career world just yet; but it has dawned on me how I could do so if I really wanted or needed to. If we had put our youngest child in preschool where my older two kids go, I would be able to return to work as soon as I found a job. Because they have a terrific before-and-after-care program there.

But, I don't want to return just yet anyway. Well, part of me does. But I have come this far with my younger two kids as a full-time, at-home mom. I want to sacrifice and continue to be home for the kids until all three of them are launched full time in school. And I want to take that as slow as possible because I really don't believe in full-day Kindergarten. If that is our only choice next year though, I will go back to work next year. I mean, you have to do what you have to do. And I am not cut out to homeschool.

Anyway, I have been thinking about what I really need in a job for it to be satifsying. Ideally, there would be variety, flexibility, problem-solving, challenges, intellectual stimulation, no bureaucracy, little paperwork, lots of autonomy, room for growth, interesting co-workers, on-the-job learning, respectable pay and the opportunity to work with people in a meaningful way.

That is a start. Now ... to figure out what kind of job would be an ideal fit ...

"When one door closes ..."

"When one door closes, another opens" is the topic on my mind this morning.

Recently, there has been some change in my day-to-day life. Although I never thought I would feel this way about such a change, it has been a positive change overall, I think.

For years I have been involved on a message board with other moms who daily discussed our children and our lives. I loved the sharing, the learning from each other, and the friendships we formed through the years. I really felt like I had close and supportive friends in that group, even if we had never met in real life. These gals were my friends. In my heart, they were true friends. I was THEIR friend in my heart and in my support on the message board. But were they my friends?

That is the question that came up for me when things recently turned very ugly on our little message board for another board member. Now, I am questioning if any of these people really cared about me, or for others on the board who they truly seemed to support over the years. (Which makes me realize the dangers of posting personal things online to strangers ... for years ...)

In any case, I realize now that this group of people were not really my friends. We were just moms who shared interests over the years I guess. True friends have disagreements and maybe even nasty words (hopefully on rare occasions), but they care about each other enough to move beyond the dissent. Long-term friends typically know who each other are from building a relationship over time, even online. And true friendships take effort and sometimes sacrifice on both sides of the relationship. One person just cannot always be the one who is right. It isn't possible. Taking responsibility for hurting other people with harsh words and judgments ... and apologies and forgiveness ... just need to be part of the package of true friendship.

When it isn't, you really begin to wonder what you had all of those years. How stupid you may have been ... although, I am not stupid. But I am smarter now I think. I now think that some of these people were just on the board to hear others' personal life issues so that somehow they could feel better about their own lives. A bit sick I think. It isn't a thought I like having, but I think it is true and have come to deal with it. But it now makes it very hard for me to post anything on any message board, or on Facebook. I hope I get over that.

In any case, there is a silver lining. When one door closes, another opens, right? What I am finding is that I actually feel much better than when I was a part of that particular board. Although I didn't think I cared what these people thought of me or my decisions on the board, a lot of things that were said did cause me to feel hurt or to feel bad about myself regardless ... simply because they were mean and thoughtless. And so much was said within the silences as well. The silences were not quiet.

So, the door that has opened is sort of a freeing feeling. I think that feeling comes from standing up for myself. I am proud of the decisions I have made for my kids about school. I am proud of the fact that I am not materialistic, nor are my kids and husband. I am proud of the fact that I can see the beauty and positive qualities in pretty much everyone. I am proud of the fact that I can see things from all angles. I am proud of the fact that people matter more to me than being right or being accepted. I am proud that my kids are good people, inside and out. And I am going to blog more because it feels good to just be me.

And, most importantly, I forgive my fellow board friends. We are all just people. Just human beings trying to make our way in this world and as mothers.

Ahhh November 1

Yay, it is November 1! I love, love, love November 1!

Why?

Because October for our family is one crazy roller coaster ride from start to finish.

Here are this year's October highlights --

Seven family birthdays.
Five family birthday gatherings.
One joint kids' birthday party, with 23 kids in attendance
Two school field trips
One School Fall party
Two School birthday snacks to send in
Two Trunk-or-Treats
One haunted house visit
And Halloween trick-or-treating

Whew! It is like Christmas!

So, November 1 is my day to reflect on the October fun while taking a bit of a breather before the holiday rush begins once again just before Thanksgiving (and goes non-stop until January 1.)

Because as much as I enjoy celebrating the holidays with my family, they are A LOT of work! (Honestly, I think the hardest part is the house cleaning for the various events; because, my husband is a big help when it comes to some of the family parties (he will cook) and trick-or-treating (he will pull the girls in the wagon on Halloween night tirelessly).

Anyway, goodbye dear October. You have been fun :) Hello November 1!