Every now and then it inspires me to type out a to-do list and post it here on my blog. Here is what I plan to get done this week:
1. All of my laundry
2. Cook at least four dinners
3. Pack 6 kids lunches for their activities this week
4. Clean both bathrooms
5. Help ds purge his room of toys he is done with
6. Figure out how to close the co-sleeper and get it out of here once and for all!
7. Toy purge in living room and basement
8. Toy pick-up in living room and basement
9. At least one lunch out with no kids
10. Attend coaching class
11. Swim a lot
12. Get to library
13. Pay off all bills and complete medical paperwork
14. Mail stuff in that needs to get out of here!
15. Wash and change sheets
16. Clear clutter out of master bedroom
17. Clear off island
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Busy days versus slow-paced days ...
Today was a busy day ... from swimming lessons, back home, to VBS, to lunch at the world's busiest McDonald's I have ever been to in my entire life, back to VBS, to cousin's house to drop off cousin and pick up ds's overnight gear, to McDonald's once again (this time the drive-tru), to the eyeglass shop for a repair, to the shoe store and back home again ...
I kind of like a busy, active day anymore. But, I think I am yearning a bit for some more of the do-nothing types of days we normally have had in the past .... maybe a mixture of both is what I am seeking ....
Anyway, it is all about balance and I think the key for me is just to keep an ongoing awareness of our needs, feelings and level of enjoyment in all we are doing this Summer. Plus, I need to get some "me" time in at some point here soon. Why is it so hard for me to ask for babysitting just for me to go out and get time to myself?
It is easy for me to ask for babysitting for a doctor's appt., for help with transportation when I have kids to get two places at once or for something "important" (like a school meeting.) But when it comes to just a date night out with my dh or time away for me to just chill ... I struggle to ask.
Anyone have a good swift kick in the rear they can give me to get over this issue once and for all?
I kind of like a busy, active day anymore. But, I think I am yearning a bit for some more of the do-nothing types of days we normally have had in the past .... maybe a mixture of both is what I am seeking ....
Anyway, it is all about balance and I think the key for me is just to keep an ongoing awareness of our needs, feelings and level of enjoyment in all we are doing this Summer. Plus, I need to get some "me" time in at some point here soon. Why is it so hard for me to ask for babysitting just for me to go out and get time to myself?
It is easy for me to ask for babysitting for a doctor's appt., for help with transportation when I have kids to get two places at once or for something "important" (like a school meeting.) But when it comes to just a date night out with my dh or time away for me to just chill ... I struggle to ask.
Anyone have a good swift kick in the rear they can give me to get over this issue once and for all?
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
A New Me?
I have been happy lately and I am so grateful. To be honest, since the birth of my two youngest children, I have been in a fog. I thank God with all of my heart and soul for all of my children and I feel so blessed to be given the job of loving and raising them on this earth.
But even still, I entered a fog when I had two back-to-back babies. I really didn't even realize what it was exactly ... I had hunches from time to time that I was depressed. But I never wanted to seriously admit it.
Recently, I have admitted this finally in my life and taken some actions to address my "rut." And now, for the first time in a few years, I have experienced many moments of pure and real joy. I can hardly believe that I am admitting that I went that long without experiencing pure joy. But, it was not until I began to experience these feelings once again that I realized what exactly had been missing from the me I used to be.
This, in no way, reflects on my children. I have put my all into them and they have gotten the best of me even when I had to plaster a smile on my face due to my own internal struggles. But, I cannot tell you how much easier and exciting life is to have moments of pure happiness and even a playful, crazy, loving feeling in one's heart just because of life's simple things once again.
I believe that my depression has been chemical to some degree; but also, I attribute this depression to circumstances. Two young children less than one year apart are a lot of work. My husband works long hours and the work of raising our kids has been mainly my role in our family. My husband is a wonderful dad, but the majority of the grunt work with our children is mine while all of the bread-winning grunt work in recent years has been dh's.
We have also faced some big challenges in recent years ... a move, a few floods, an employment scare, extremely tight finances; those types of things take time and energy to deal with as well. It's no wonder that I put myself on the backburner and sort of just let myself french fry inside.
But now I am clearing out that smoke (that fog) and I can see life more clearly in recent days. And while I can now see how I basically sacrificed myself for the needs of my family; I can also now see that there is a better way to do things now moving forward.
I thank God for the gift of being able to be home with my children at this time in all of our lives. It is a true blessing. I have taken many actions to set up my life (and my childrens' lives) a bit differently this Summer and life has just been sweet lately and I am loving the moments.
As a few wise people have stated recently: Depression is real. I have known this intellectually for many years; but, for some reason, I was just certain that I was somehow "different" and that such a thing as depression would never likely happen to me. Silly, I know.
Now, I am just so glad to be finding myself once again ....
But even still, I entered a fog when I had two back-to-back babies. I really didn't even realize what it was exactly ... I had hunches from time to time that I was depressed. But I never wanted to seriously admit it.
Recently, I have admitted this finally in my life and taken some actions to address my "rut." And now, for the first time in a few years, I have experienced many moments of pure and real joy. I can hardly believe that I am admitting that I went that long without experiencing pure joy. But, it was not until I began to experience these feelings once again that I realized what exactly had been missing from the me I used to be.
This, in no way, reflects on my children. I have put my all into them and they have gotten the best of me even when I had to plaster a smile on my face due to my own internal struggles. But, I cannot tell you how much easier and exciting life is to have moments of pure happiness and even a playful, crazy, loving feeling in one's heart just because of life's simple things once again.
I believe that my depression has been chemical to some degree; but also, I attribute this depression to circumstances. Two young children less than one year apart are a lot of work. My husband works long hours and the work of raising our kids has been mainly my role in our family. My husband is a wonderful dad, but the majority of the grunt work with our children is mine while all of the bread-winning grunt work in recent years has been dh's.
We have also faced some big challenges in recent years ... a move, a few floods, an employment scare, extremely tight finances; those types of things take time and energy to deal with as well. It's no wonder that I put myself on the backburner and sort of just let myself french fry inside.
But now I am clearing out that smoke (that fog) and I can see life more clearly in recent days. And while I can now see how I basically sacrificed myself for the needs of my family; I can also now see that there is a better way to do things now moving forward.
I thank God for the gift of being able to be home with my children at this time in all of our lives. It is a true blessing. I have taken many actions to set up my life (and my childrens' lives) a bit differently this Summer and life has just been sweet lately and I am loving the moments.
As a few wise people have stated recently: Depression is real. I have known this intellectually for many years; but, for some reason, I was just certain that I was somehow "different" and that such a thing as depression would never likely happen to me. Silly, I know.
Now, I am just so glad to be finding myself once again ....
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