My New Year's theme

"A life that's mine in 2009!"

This will be my upcoming theme for the new year and I am really excited about it.

I haven't always set a New Year's theme; however, about three years ago, I took a free coaching class and learned about this method for essentially setting an upcoming goal (or set of goals) for the new year.

One thing I like about this approach to New Year's goal setting (otherwise known as New Year's resolutions), is the short, snappy, highly personal slogan that I can repeat in my mind to keep me on focus in meeting my goals over the course of the year.

I have had New Year's themes for two of the last three years. I did not set a theme for 2008 because I loved my 2007 theme so well and it was still propelling me forward. That theme was "Do it fast; don't look back," a theme designed to push me out of perfectionist tendencies that were no longer working for me as an at-home mom to three kids. (My youngest dd was two months old when I set that theme and it did serve me very well for the past two years.)

So, now ... what does my new theme mean?

What will I accomplish as I live this theme, "A life that's mine in 2009?"

A lot. And I am so ready!!!!

The last three years have been big transition years for me. I went from being a mom of one child (for eight years!) to becoming a mom of three kids, the two youngest being only 11 1/2 months apart. This adventure included two back-to-back pregnancies, two straight years of newborns, double diaper duty, a move, three water disasters in my new home, and a transition to being a mom who no longer brought in a paycheck.

I went from being a full-time working mom of one child who lived in a 1,348 square foot house (this square footage included the basement), to being a mom of three who no longer brought in a paycheck ... yet, had a bigger mortgage to pay (and all the bigger bills and additional housekeeping responsibiliies that go along with that).

Needless to say, I had to quickly learn about a new kind of patience, a new kind of chaos and a new kind of lifestyle. We literally went from eating out most nights to me cooking pretty much every night. I had to rapidly learn the art of cooking on a daily basis and how to be frugal. I had to learn how to budget and how to keep endless laundry clean and accessable. We went from going out of our home on a regular basis for our entertainment (it was only the three of us and we had two incomes), to pretty much staying at home for all of our entertainment on a regular basis.

It has been a wild ride. Wild. Crazy. And it has been the best thing that ever happened to me.

But, during these years of transition, I admit that I have lost myself in so many ways. With two children who are only now ages 2 and 3, and an 11-year-old who is beginning to show some of that pre-teen attitude ... and a husband who works long hours and has his own need to have some time and space for himself, I have put myself on the back-burner.

In doing that, I don't think I am the best me that I can be as a mother and wife to my family. And, family, is honestly, the most important thing in life to me. My family is everything to me ... from my childhood family, to my current immediate family, to my extended family, to my friends who have grown to be like family to me over the years. There is nothing more important, or more wonderful to me, than enjoying, spending time with and being with the members of my family.

So, this is the year for me.

In the spirit of still putting my family first, this will be the year for my theme --
"A life that's mine in 2009!"

What this means is that I will be making decisions a bit differently when I think of the things I want to do, or be a part of (for myself), in 2009. I will not feel badly or let guilt keep me from taking care of myself. I will push past that negative mental junk and boldly arrange for time and/or activities for myself that nurture me so that I can enjoy life more and be the best mother and wife possible to my wonderful crazy family.

Basically, I am going to begin caring for myself the way that I care for the entire rest of my family. I am giving myself a "promotion" in a sense ... from caretaker to Home CEO. My needs and desires are going to matter and going to be on the front burner (not to the exclusion of everyone else, but considered as importantly as the needs and desires of everyone else.) And I am so excited about this because I think I lost my way and doubted my importance for awhile in the transition of essentially losing one identity and way of life, to gaining a new identity and way of life (a life that is actually so much fuller and more wonderful than I could have ever imagined back in the days when I didn't do any laundry until we ran out of undies.)

It may not be that I even do a whole lot more (as far as regular or scheduled activities), or get involved in a whole lot more outside of the home in the next year. I mean, possibly that will happen; but, possibly not ... because I don't know what this "life of mine" that I want to create for myself looks like just yet. Things that excited me and nurtured me in the past, don't do a thing for me in this new life of mine as a crazy, at-home mom of three.

I mean, I am still the same person I always was inside in so many of the most important ways; but, I am also very different than I was before. My life is different. My needs are different. My challenges are different. I have actually grown a lot in many ways; but, I am also more of a novice than ever before in so many other ways.

A lot of living this new theme for me will most likely be about creating and mastering a mental and emotional "shift" inside that will essentially just elevate my importance as a full-fledged family member with needs, desires and values that deserve as much respect as any other member of the family.

"A life that's mine in 2009" will also likely involve my considering some new ventures and new possibilities ... such as taking a class or creating something of interest to myself that is mine alone to enjoy and gain energy from.

One very important aspect that this theme encompasses is, indeed, the life that's "mine" part. I love to do things my way, whether that be by my researching and choosing the best method to use (for myself) from already established choices or programs out in the world (for, like say, weight loss ... an established program might be Weight Watchers). Or, creating my own way to do things ... highly personalized avenues just for me and created by me. I love designing my own way to do things. I know that will be a very important piece to keep in mind in the new year.

I look forward to this shift and this focus. I feel a sense of some fun coming, (just a tiny amount of fun even), in 2009.

That is an energizing feeling :)