Drop in post ...

I don't get by here very often to post and I really need to. Writing down my thoughts helps me to make sense of them. I am in a bit of a hurry right now, but I am just going to take a moment to post a few things top in my mind lately ...

I am very troubled by the government's preoccupation with standardized testing. I want to move the girls to public school next year for a variety of reasons. But, they assess the kids every two weeks there! Seriously. How can that be good for kids? How redundant? What a complete waste of time ...

The private schools we have been apart of take all this testing very seriously (too seriously in my opinion) as well. But they only assess every 11 weeks. That is reasonable, but also more often than necessary.

The world is made up of many people who somehow get into positions of control and not because they are smart, honorable or impactful. When I was young I thought I could fight for what is right ... and win. It didn't happen, although now ... years later ... smoking bans are in place here and I wasn't the ring leader in that fight at all. My little fliers I papered my neighborhood with back in the day (as a fifth grader) told the facts and emphasized solutions related to public smoking back then. But nothing changed by my doings and I became very discouraged with any impact I could truly make in the world. The way I cope now is just do my best to fight for what is right in my own little world, with my own little family.

I want to circumvent this junk going on in education right now. I am certain these crazed folks will come to their senses in a few years and I don't want my kids damaged by their wrongful ideas and ridiculous legislation.

It is hard to see the "right" thing to do here for my kids. I wish the answer was very clear. I really don't want to keep them at the private school either. For each path, there is a price to pay. I still feel like my little girls are young enough to not be subject to all this nonsense. I want them to love education as much as they did in the preschool years. I feel helpless to save my kids from what I see is massive wrongness. It makes me very sad :(

Goals and Dreams ....

What are your goals and dreams? I have been thinking about this because I am facing a life transition in a matter of months. My youngest baby will be heading off to Kindergarten and I am a Stay-At-Home mom right now. What will I do when the kids are in school??

Work is my plan. But what kind of work? I still want to be available to my kids before and after school. Some options I am considering are ... substitute work in the schools, paraprofessional in the schools, office job in the schools, going back to not-for-profit work (former career type of work), getting a job at a University (the resume is ready to go, but I cannot bring myself to send it.) I think that is because I am not ready to be beholden to a work schedule that doesn't enable me to put my kids first. I mean, Summer is coming ...

I have also thought about starting a business from my home again. I have found that I don't enjoy my work as well in isolation though. So, I would like some balance out in the real world too. Or a partner. Since I don't have a business right now, I can't really hire a partner ... Hmmmm ....

Basket of Nerves!

I am a basket of nerves today!!! Today is the day we visit the high schools that we hope my eighth grader will attend next year. (We want him to be accepted into an early college high school program. He is excited to tour today and wants to go to this school very much too.)

I don't know why I am so nervous! Maybe it is because the counselor for this program didn't respond to her phone calls when I was trying to get information about touring. I am worried we won't get the application in on time because of something like that (they might lose it because it won't be coming in the traditional way, which is through the Jr. High feeder schools).

I am worried about looking too eager. I am worried about looking to uppity since we are coming from a private school. Will I make someone think I am too anal if I send the application by certified mail to ensure they receive it? They say no applications will be accepted after Feb. 3. I can't wait to get this application in and know it is being considered! I am also worried that my son's current teachers and counselor won't finish the evaluation forms on time, or that they will mail them in to the wrong place.

O.K. heading out now!!! Wish us luck!!!

Happy New Year!!

I know it is a bit late to celebrate the traditional new year, but I am finally realizing it is January! Christmas was busy and crazy as usual. Then shortly after New Year's Day, we went on a family vacation to Florida. We have been back only just over a week and we are finally settling into a normal routine this week. Whew! (It was so awesome btw to experience SUMMER weather in the middle of Winter. I miss Florida already. The family time was really special too during this first vacation in many, many years for our family. I miss Disney World already and we are already talking about going back again next year!)



This new year brings a lot of exciting things ahead. This will be the year that my youngest will start Kindergarten in the Fall and my oldest will begin High School. This will be the year that I will get to decide on a new direction for myself in the Fall because with all of the kids in school full-time, I would truly enjoy a lucrative challenge outside the home. Did I tell you that partial day Kindergarten died in Indiana just this year? My Pre-K daughter will go to full-day, all-day Kindergarten next year whether I like it or not and wherever she goes to school. (I am not a homeschooling mom). It makes me sad that our options have been eliminated. She would probably prefer a partial day schedule. She gets worn out. But it is still months away.

This will also be the year that all of my babies will go (or go back to) public school. The girls don't need a unique school environment and it is costly to send them to private school. We are middle income people and school vouchers don't touch our income level. Those with a low income can now go to private school practically free, and wealthy people will hardly notice $6,000 off of their much higher income than ours I believe. But even so, I think the move is the right one for all of my kids. I continue to hear great things about our local public school (in the younger grades anyway) and my oldest might benefit from a specialized program where he could earn an Associate's degree upon high school graduation free of charge. (Please say a prayer for us that he gets into this program. It would be such an opportunity for him! We have to apply in less than two weeks ... yikes!)

One thing I look forward to with putting my little ones in public school next year is that I can meet them for lunch if they want me to. My youngest might really appreciate that next year because she is such a mommy's girl and full-day Kindergarten will be a big adjustment for her. Our private school really doesn't allow the meeting for lunch thing because the kids eat lunch right in their classroom in the younger grades. I also look forward to having lunch provided by the school next year! Our lunch lady this year quit (right after Christmas break) at the private school and I am TIRED of lunch-making everyday already. (And the kids have only been in school seven days in January thus far because of Christmas break, our vacation and Martin Luther King, Jr. day.

As much as I adore our private school for my oldest, I think it is just o.k. for my Kindergartener. I know that God is a central focus in this school environment and I can definitely see the benefits of that, but I think they go a bit overboard with the religious teachings. My Kindergartener was taught how it is all of our responsibilities as Christians to go out and share the gospel and bring people to God's word. She is 6 and that approach to religion is just taking it a bit too far in my opinion. Plus, she hates memorizing the weekly Bible verse and it is a weekly struggle. In first grade these kiddos get two bible verses a week. Seriously, no way!

But, the middle school is amazing and the girls might go there someday for middle school ... who knows. We do plan to stay members of and remain active in our church, the girl scouts there and church sports too. The girls recently started playing basketball there and we had such a great time watching them practice so far. It is fun to know people you are sitting with when watching your kids play sports or participate in activities. The public school does not have basketball, so that will be a nice compliment to the change in schools next year. We can still do so much without spending so much darn money.

So, I am already looking at job ads and making plans. I want something part-time so that I can still be here with the kids after school most days of the week. I want something interesting and professional in both atmosphere and payment. I am already on the countdown for Summer vacation. I want warmth and shorts and outdoor swimming pool time.

Not Ready!

I'm not ready for Christmas. We have already had one Christmas celebration with my husband's side of the family, and I guess it felt too good to have that behind us. Because I have done very little to get ready for ACTUAL Christmas this weekend.

It always works out though. Somehow, it always comes together and it is always a nice, enjoyable family day.

And somehow, we always over do it ... and we always overspend too ....

'Tis the Season!

Vision Problems ...

I learned something new that I did not know even existed in the world. Honestly, I thank God everyday for my son's homeroom teacher at his small Lutheran School. If it weren't for her being ALL OVER his behind everyday, expecting nothing but THE best out of him, he would never have been diagnosed with ADD; and therefore, he would never have attended nine months of Occupational Therapy for his related fine motor problems ... and ... this takes the cake ... we would never have found out that he has a vision disability!

You see, we were plugging away through the school year and feeling like things were so much better with ds's new medicine for his ADD. His fine motor skills did improve through Occupational Therapy over the last nine months, although not greatly. I am glad he was able to make the improvements he did, but his handwriting is only slightly better. This is not a big deal in today's computerized world though.

However, at the school conferences in November, ds's homeroom teacher insisted that there was still a problem. Keep in mind that my son's grades were all very good. Every single grade was between 80 and 90 percent. But he has this pattern with going along well and then completely bombing miscellaneous assignments along the way here and there, always keeping him out of the 90's for his overall trimester grades.

So, we went back to the pediatrician and we sought some additional medicine. He continues to take 72 mg. of Concerta, but we have now added Intuniv to his Concerta each day. His attention at school has improved a little more, so that is good.

But then, as we were concluding Occupational Therapy earlier this month, ds's OT mentioned that he had accomplished all of his goals, but that he still had some problems with visual depth perception. What the heck is that??

Well, because the homeroom teacher insisted that there were still learning problems, we went to one of the three Developmental Optometrists in our City and found out what this problem was. (Only a Developmental Optometrist can diagnose vision problems that contribute to learning disabilities apparently. Who knew? I mean, I was taking him to the best eye doctor wasn't I? He had been going to an Opthalmologist for goodness sakes!)

But no. Opthalmologists don't diagnose eye motor issues. They test for visual accuity and provide care for eye diseases and perform eye surgeries. The Developmental Optometrist does all of the above (accept surgeries) and more.

So, we found out that my son, whose eyes look just fine and normal to the everyday observer, do not track well together. Because of this, he cannot distinguish images in 3-D and he is in the 18th percentile for his speed in tracking his eyes from left to right and from right to left. So, 82 percent of kids his age can move their eyes across type faster than he can .. and perceive the information they are viewing. Since this is a perceptual problem, my son can see the type, he just can't perceive it. I know. Strange, huh?

But, when it comes to tracking his eyes vertically (like reading up and down columns,) he is in the 1st percentile! No wonder he has problems with math. For the most part, math is done vertically!

The best news about all of this is that this problem can be corrected. There is something called Vision Therapy that he can attend weekly. Again, this is something I had no clue even existed. So, in January, we will begin ninth months of Vision Therapy. Hopefully, this has ds done and completely ready for high school in the Fall.

My Amazing Son ... and School Vouchers

One of the greatest joys in my life is my relationship with my teenager. He is 14 years old and one of the biggest lights of my life. He and I have been through a lot together in life already. For eight years, he was my one and only child. He has definitely reaped the benefits (and the downsides) of being an only child for eight years of his life :)

He is an amazing big brother ... so patient and kind to his little sisters who rip through our house like tornados on a daily basis. He is a great role model to them and they adore him. He is also very insightful for his age and very interesting to talk to. He tends to be a quiet kid out in the world at large, but there is MUCH he does not miss. He has a definite gift for understanding and empathizing with people. And his sense of humor is just ... honestly ... delightful :)

My dear son has always been a student in the middle though. We had some tough years in his early grades because he just could not keep up with the school work load. With my dedication and his efforts though, he has never failed a subject in school. But, with each grade level, school became harder and harder ... and I became more and more tired, and less and less capable of re-teaching (homeschooling) him at the end of the lengthy school days.

One of the biggest blessings of our lives has been the private school he began attending last year for 7th grade. It is a religious school and, honestly, you can feel God's presence in that building every single minute of the day. Some days I feel grumbly or whatever, and I go into that building and I am ALWAYS just perfectly awed by the teachers, the students and the loving, Christian environment. I know this is a place that God led our family to and wanted my kids to spend some time in.

In the nearly 1.5 years my son has been in this school, he has been anything but LEFT BEHIND. I am a believer, based on my unique school experiences with my son, that it is the children in the middle who are the ones being left behind in our schools today.

The kids who behave poorly for whatever reason have the teachers' attention the entire day, while the kids in the middle plug away and do their best in the same classroom with these kids. And the higher performing kids get to be in special programs, unique environments ... gifted, honors groups, etc. These types of programs have behavior standards and the kids in them are not being left behind for sure either. They are getting a leg up. Just the amount of time that the teachers in these programs don't have to allot to the misbehaving bunch gives these kids an advantage.

So, I have to pay for my childrens' education. I pay twice. Once as a tax payer and once to actually get them educated. It sucks. Our State did recently begin a voucher program though and I am very thankful that any child in our State can now have true school choice. Public school is not for everyone. Children are being left behind there (here in Indiana) every day. The class sizes are getting bigger and bigger while the standards for education everywhere are getting higher and higher. What gets my goat is that parents who already needed to, or chose to put their kids in private school to get them educated, don't qualify for the voucher program. That is just wrong.

If my child was bullied out of public school, our family deserves a voucher no matter how much money we make (and we are not a high income family) .... but I will not allow myself to resort to bitterness. I want to go there, but I won't. I will focus on the kids in our State who will no longer have to be stuffed into an educational system that may not be the best fit for them. I pray that kids who have been bullied can come to our State's private schools and feel safe, find their strengths, gain confidence and learn about God along the way. But I think I am going to tell my story to our Governor in some way. Maybe a letter. The voucher law is a good one, but it is incomplete. This is an issue I am passionate about.