Parenting truths learned ...

One thing that is nice about having a large age gap between my first child and my younger two children is that I have gained a sense of perspective over the years. Of course, this helps me with my preschool age children and not so much with my newly-turned 13-year-old ;) But, I will take what parenting experience I have and be thankful for it.

Some things I have learned about preschoolers and younger children after parenting this age one time already, and also from knowing other parents who have walked the preschool path once before. These things may not be popular nuggets of information to share. Some parenting topics are just heated. Some things in life you just have to live through first in order to truly determine your own more concrete view on how that life stage or parenting situation is truly best handled (in your own life situation). Unfortunately, hindsight doesn't always help us as we navigate the initial path through parenthood.

But, for what it is worth, below is a short collection of "truths" that I have extracted from my own parenting experience. No, I am not a world expert on parenting. This is just my blog and this is just what I think based on my life experience. One thing about me is that I am a lover of anything that can be learned. I enjoy being challenged, stepping outside of my own ideas (no matter how concrete I think they are already), and looking at things in new ways. I don't know why; but it is just really very exciting to me to learn new things and new ways of looking at life. It just makes life interesting. It keeps me learning.

So, here are some of my ideas ... some might think they are wild and zany ideas and that is o.k. And yes, I wholeheartedly believe in them. I can't help it and I am sorry. I am who I am.

1.) Young boys should be held back from Kindergarten and go in as older boys.

2.) Most preschool programs are not developmentally appropriate and these programs are perpetuated by government ideas about educating kids in the older grades. Preschoolers learn best through enriched play. They do not need worksheets and drills or desk work, unless it is very minimal. Let's not stifle their creativity so young please. Unless you are using preschool for a mom's day out, get your child out of those types of preschool programs. They will have plenty of years to be schooled in structured settings that are less hands on.

3.) A clean house is not really important in the scheme of things. I don't mean we should live in filth, but things do clean up. Kids learn from some of the crazy things they do. That doesn't make them rotten or bad for doing them. If something is against the rules or really steps over a line for you as a parent, then don't allow it. But, be flexible for goodness' sake. You can spend your entire life sorting your socks when the kids' are grown.

4.) Sometimes when kids are tired, they can appear to have ADHD or to have terrible behavior problems. Some kids move faster when they are tired.

5.) Working closely with your child's school is important at any and every age. Be a partner and an advocate for your child's education.

6.) Teach them to do as many things for themselves as soon as possible ... and as soon as they are ready ... no matter how much more time that takes you as a parent of young kids. When they are older, life will be easier because you did.

7.) Kids don't have to be in every single sport, or club, or extracurricular activity. If they are interested and you can afford to foster that interest, then do so. But keep it fun and about learning until THEY want it to be about something bigger. Keep in mind that most adults don't have a place to play competitive team sports in this world after college. Being the best ball player is not the "be-all" and "end-all" for your child's success in this world.

8.) Let kids be who they are. Some kids don't like to do things that we as a society think all people should enjoy doing. Don't let them live in a bubble, but if they don't want to go to a school dance, then more power to them I say! Kudos to the kids who can make their own decisions and stay true to their own desires when their peers are sometimes going along with the crowd to ensure they are part of a "cool" group.

9.) If your child is being bullied at school, get up to the school and INSIST it be stopped. Use the term "bully." Insist on ZERO tolerance. Follow up daily until you are certain the situation is under control. Then, keep following up!

10.) I will end this list at ten items. So lastly, I will say ... do not be afraid to discipline your kids. We owe it to our kids to be their parents. This is not an easy role sometimes for a parent like me because it is ... indeed ... TRUE that doling out consequences is way more painful for ME than it is for my kids!

So, what do you agree with? What do you hate or disagree with from my above list? Please share your thoughts and your own parenting "truths" developed in the trenches!